Torn
by Jaela-chan
Summary: Is Imprinting truly stronger than true love? What does it take to forget someone who commands your heart and soul? EdwardxBella, JacobxBella, JacobxOC.
1. Intro

-Intro-

I was about to give up for good, I swear it. It wasn't like me to be half so persistent, but I had to be sure. I had to allow myself one more try.  
My fingers trembled horribly, and I had to hang up and redial twice before the familiar numbers finally appeared on my cellphone's illuminated screen.  
Please, I begged, please pick up.  
I listened for three rings that seemed like twenty. And then, so suddenly my heart stopped--  
"Hello?"  
I let myself breathe. It wasn't his voice, but one much older and almost as familiar.  
"Hello, Mr. Black. This is Carissa calling. Is Jacob available?"  
"One moment, Carissa." His voice was lower, almost grave. I realized that he must know everything, or close to it. I almost said, _Tell him it's Bella calling._ At least then, I'd know he'd answer, even if he hung up as soon as he heard my voice.  
I strained my ears, but the other end of the line was completely silent. I didn't hear Jacob's father calling for him, or the phone being handed off. But after a while, I spoke tentatively.  
"Uh... Hello?"  
"Carrie."  
His response was so quick and unexpected that I'm pretty sure I gasped audibly.  
"I'm sorry," said the voice I'd been waiting too long to hear again. I wasn't sure if he was apologizing for startling me just then, or for the entire ordeal.  
"Quit trying to forget I exist," I said. I meant it to sound demanding and forceful, but it echoed in my ears, sounding timid, and rather more like a vague suggestion.  
"As if I could, even if I tried." The bitterness that usually soaked these little snapping comments through was diluted by something like exhaustion. I heard him sigh, sounding much too old.  
I bit down on the inside of my cheek, searching for the next thing to say before I started crying. I knew I only had a little time before he hung up the phone, and I'd promised myself that this was my last shot. That I'd give up if this didn't work. "Jake," I began, "will you hear me out this time?"  
"I already told you," he said, "it won't change anything."  
"Then there's no harm in it, right?" I pleaded. "You're acting more like you're scared that it _will _change something. If you've made up your mind, you could at least give me a few minutes of your time to say what I have to say. It'll make me feel better, Jake." I repositioned the phone, shifting nervously in my desk chair. "Please?"  
He was quiet for a long time. "Okay, Carrie. I'll listen."  
My heart picked up its pace even as relief swept over me. He had almost sounded like his old self.  
"Jake, I know there's a part of you that still... that still has feelings for me." I paused, listening for his steady breathing. I imagined his face changing as my words sunk in.  
"I know it's hard for you right now, trying to move on. I want to help you get over her, Jake. I want to be there for you."  
"You're talking about her like she's dead," he said. It wasn't an accusation. It was a monotonous observation.  
"Does it hurt to know that she's happy? I mean, without you."  
He hesitated several times before speaking. "I want her to be happy. What hurts is that she didn't choose true happiness. In the long run, she'll..."  
While my statements had a tendency of melting into tears, Jacob always stopped himself before he got in too deep emotionally. Such a sensitive guy, but I'd never seen him cry.  
"You're not choosing happiness either, Jake."  
"It's not exactly an option."  
That struck me like an arrow. My eyes glazed over. I tried to replace my pain with fury.  
"Is there really something so horribly wrong with me that you couldn't be happy if we... that you couldn't be happy with me?"  
"No."  
He was full of surprises.  
"Then why?"  
He seemed to be struggling with the answer. "I'm... not... right for you, Carrie."  
"If you aren't, then no one is."  
"Maybe! That's what I thought about her!"  
I took in a long, shaky breath. My thoughts kept getting scattered. I had spent so much time planning what I'd say to him if I got the chance, but now I couldn't remember any of it.  
"Will you see me? Can we, you know, meet somewhere?" Here I was, drunk on hearing his voice again, but begging for more. I wanted to see his face.  
"I don't... Geez, Carrie. I'll have to think about it."  
"For how long?" I asked. "If I hang up, I'll have no way of knowing that you'll answer next time I call."  
"Fair enough," he said. "_I'll_ call _you._"  
I raised my eyebrows exaggeratedly, even though he couldn't see me. "I'm not convinced."  
"Trust me," he said.  
Everything in me told me I had no reason to trust anything he said. How many times had he given me his word, and gone back on it? But in the end, I had no choice. He told me to trust him, and I did.

Author's Notes: So, I've been wanting to write a Twilight fanfic for a very long time now, but it took me a while to come up with a solid idea. I'm a pretty special case, I guess: I personally prefer Jacob, but I think that Edward is a better match for Bella. That complicated things, doesn't it? If only there were two Bellas. Then Edward and Jacob could both be happy. Haha. Since that's impossible, I'm going to have to be extremely creative if I am to succeed in this fanfic, because my ultimate goal is a happy ending for my beloved Jake. Although, if the story deviates from my original plan(as my wiritings tend to do), that may not happen at all. We'll see.

On another note, the intro to this was originally going to be a different scene. A very different, fanservice-y EdwardxBella scene. This will now be the beginning scene of the most chapter, unless I change my mind again, so... look forward to it? XD

Oh yes, and reviews are loved.


	2. Chapter 1

No one could deny that she looked remarkably beautiful. The way her shining curled locks just barely touched the back of her neck beneath the shimmering veil, those dark eyelashes brushing pinkish cheeks, and the gorgeous silhouette her sleeveless white gown offered—it all accented her simple magnificence.

And yet, what he saw when he looked at her must have been even more divine. His eyes locked on her, and he seemed almost trance-like. His eyes, a molten topaz, smoldered with longing, willing her to step more quickly down the red silk path. When she got to the end, he knew, she would be forever his.

Bella would not meet his eyes. Whether she feared she'd run to him, or away, even she could not tell. Instead, she scanned the gathered crowd. Her stomach twisted with anxiety and excitement. Why had she agreed to all this? The flowers, the ribbons, all these _people?_ …Because it's what he wanted. Because when she reached him, he'd flash that crooked smile in gratitude. And because when it was all over, she'd have what she wanted, too.

She met eyes with Alice first. Alice, wedding planner extraordinaire, she'd insisted on being called lately. Bella was a little taken aback to see tears in the pixie-like girl's eyes. Alice grinned at her almost apologetically.

Next to her was Rosalie, who gave her a serene smile that was not even forced. Rosalie's fury had recently turned to a more distant curiosity. _She must think I'm mad,_ Bella thought. _I've just willingly decided to take on her worst nightmare._

Friends from school were scattered on both sides of the crowd. Edward had been friendlier to everyone lately. Bella's eyes never settled on any of them fully, but she noted that Jessica and Angela were staring at her as she walked down the aisle, the former with her hand clasped over her mouth.

Bella picked Esmé out of the crowd next, knowing that her smile would offer confidence. A little relief from these butterflies. Esmé nodded, her kind eyes a support and a reassurance.

Not daring to breathe, Bella looked to her mother. She wasn't surprised at all to see a second pair of teary eyes here. _I love you, _she mouthed, and then something that looked like _good luck._

When at last she could keep her eyes from him no longer, Bella took in a deep breath and raised her gaze to Edward.

Something ignited in her chest, and she wanted to laugh, sob, embrace him, and run away all at the same time.

Here it was at last. The beginning of her new life.

--

She was in her driveway, petting a stray cat. Beside her was a small dish whose contents I could not identify by sight alone—I sniffed the air—tuna. Suddenly, the small animal seemed spooked and ran off through the trees, disappearing from sight. Maybe it had sensed my presence. I felt like laughing, because I knew the cat would be back. It would scratch and mew at her door and drive her parents insane. But Carrie couldn't help herself, I knew—she was an animal lover through and through. And that simple fact complicated things for me immensely.

I watched her for a while as she collected the dish with the unfinished tuna, stood, and brushed a fallen leaf from her shoulder. Something in me was pulling me forward towards her, but I resisted as long as I could. She looked around began to cross the driveway, her ash-colored hair teased by the slight breeze. When she was about half-way across the driveway, I cautiously stepped out into the open.

She noticed almost immediately, and her eyes, already overlarge for her face, widened to twice their size. "Jake!" She ran to me and kneeled to wrap her arms around my neck. "You said you would _call_," She accused, narrowing her eyes.

That _was_ the original plan. Today's trip was only intended to be a way of checking up on her and getting up my nerve to call. I felt that if I saw her again, I'd want to talk to her. What I hadn't taken into consideration was that when she was right in front of me, and I could taste her scent and remember how soft her skin was, I'd want to do much more than that.

"How are you going to get dressed?" she asked. "There aren't enough trees here to ensure your privacy, you know. Or are you expecting me to invite an overgrown mutt into my house?" She smiled dryly.

I nodded, or something like it. That's exactly what I expected her to do.

She rolled her eyes. "I don't have a choice, do I?"  
She didn't.

"Quite frankly," she said when I emerged from the bathroom, "I'm surprised you were able to fit in there."

I shrugged. "I'm not _that_ big, Carrie."

"You're pretty big," she countered. "Even as a human." She was sitting on the couch, looking up at me.

"Would it help if I sat down?"

She raised her eyebrows and looked down, trying to cover the fear in her eyes. "You tell me."

The last time I'd been that close to her, I'd tackled her and pinned her to the ground. Afterwards, I'd seen the bruises on her wrists where I'd held her down. I couldn't blame her for not wanting to repeat that incident. I didn't want to either. That had kept me away from her for these past four months.

"I'd better stand."

She nodded, but only slightly. "You have pretty poor timing, you know. My dad will be home in 20 minutes or so, and I doubt he'd react well to a shirtless 7-foot supermodel alone with his daughter in the living room."

"Lend me a shirt then. One of your brother's." Carrie's brother, Mark, was away at college in Canada.

She snorted. "That's hardly the point, Jake."

I hesitated. "Can you come with me, then?"  
She shook her head vigorously. "No way. It'll be even worse if Dad comes home and I'm not here."

I took in a deep breath. "Then… I should leave. Right?"

She looked at me with shining eyes. "I don't want you to go," she said, "but maybe you should. I don't know. Will you ever come back?"

"I'll go back to Plan A," I said, "I'll call you. And we can work something out. I guess I underestimated my self-control," I added.

She smiled brightly. "Yeah! You've been a good dog. If I could reach, I'd pat you on the head."  
"And give me a dog treat?"  
"Don't push it," she teased.

"Right. Well, I'll catch you later, Carrie."

"Right." For a moment, there was an intense desperation in her eyes. I feared it might awaken the full intensity of my feelings. But in another instant, it was gone. I was numb again.

And that's how I left her. Or maybe, more accurately, how she left me.

--

Author's Notes: So, that's the first chapter. How was it? I know that the plot wasn't advanced much in this chapter(other than, of course, the wedding scene!), but I felt that the conversation in the intro didn't sufficiently explain Carissa and Jake's relationship. Mainly, I felt that it didn't explain Jake's feelings. Soooo I took a risk and wrote it from his perspective. Did I manage okay? The last thing I'd want to do is inaccurately portray my darling Jake. I really do love him. All the same, I'm not sure if I'd want to be in Carrie's position. Oh, but you'll know what I mean by that in chapters to come! I hope you're enjoying the story so far. If you read this, please take a moment to let me know by leaving a review. Thank you! Lots of love to my readers.


	3. Chapter 2

"If you want my advice," the voice behind him said, "just give it up already."

Jacob turned to see Embry standing behind him with his arms crossed. His friend's stance was bold and confident, but his face told another story. His eyes softened as they met Jacob's, and the thin line of his mouth quivered a bit at the edges, admitting to his uncertainty.

"Embry." Jacob's voice cracked. He hadn't said a word in nearly three days.

"No one's ever beat it, you know. There have been others that, y'know… tried. But none of them were able to do it."

"How would you know?"

"Sam told me."

Jacob searched Embry's eyes. Suddenly it all made sense, and something twisted in his stomach. "Sam? Because of Leah." He covered his face with his hands. How had he not thought of it before?

"Exactly," Embry said, "not that he's been the only one to try to go against imprinting. But he does understand, and that's why he wants to talk to you."

"I've told you," Jacob countered weakly, "I didn't imprint on her. It was… not a crush, but an infatuation, maybe."

Embry shook his head. "Sam and Quil'll tell you you're wrong, dude."

"And how should they know?" Jacob gritted his teeth and tried to hold back his anger. Who were they to tell him how he felt?

"For one, they've both been through it. And for another, they're as much inside your head as you are."

"Embry, I'm me. I'm the only one who can really, truly tell what I'm thinking and feeling. And I'm telling you, it's not like that."

"Then why did you suddenly drop Vampire Girl like a hot potato and go for this other chick? I'm telling you, the only explanation is—"

"Don't talk to me about Bella." Jacob's voice was clear and firm. He sighed, and then at length spoke again. "I know it might seem weird that I just let her go, but I had no choice. They left. Those leeches told me she was going to _marry_ him. It was like… I don't know, a rebound thing, maybe."

"You used to say—" Embry shook his head and corrected himself. "No, think. You used to think, 'I'll never give up on her. I won't let him lose.'"

"That was before she was _engaged._" Jacob sighed. "I had to admit defeat at some point."

"And then suddenly you were over it, and there was Ghost Girl?" This is what Embry called her, because of her delicate, pale skin.

Jacob was silent for a moment. "I'm tired of arguing about it, Embry. That's why I've been telling you guys that I need some time to myself. Every time I see any of you, this is all you talk about."

"It's all you _think_ about anyway. Look, you can't hide from the entire pack forever."

"Apparently not. That's why you're here."

Embry almost cracked a smile, but then remembered that this was serious business. "Will you at least try talking to Sam?"  
Jacob shrugged. "I'll think about it." And then he took off into the trees, and Embry did not follow.

--

Carrie took a deep breath. "Dad, I'd like your permission… to start dating."

Just as she'd feared, an icy look came over his face. "Carrie." His voice cracked. "You're only fifteen."

"Yeah, fifteen," Carrie said. "Most of my friends started dating _ages_ ago." She pleaded with her eyes.

He sighed. "Who's the boy?"

Carrie shuffled her feet, but did not speak.

"Well? Is it someone I know?"

"No," she admitted. "I met him… in La Push. When Claire and I went to take pictures for our World Cultures project." Her voice was hardly above a whisper, and she stared down at her shoes as she spoke.

"That was last weekend, Carrie! You've met this guy once, and you want to… to start _dating_ him?!" Carissa looked up to see color rushing to her father's face.

"We've talked since then. You know, on the phone and stuff." She wouldn't confess that he had also visited her in the middle of the night, and the two had sat together and whispered on the back deck into the early hours of the morning on more than one occasion.

Carissa's father sighed and shook his head, rubbing the space between his eyes with two fingers. "You're fifteen, Carrie, and I have no idea who this guy is. The answer is no."

She felt a stabbing pain in her chest. "How can you say that?! Would it be different if it were someone else?"

"No—maybe—I don't know, Carrie."

"You can't discriminate against someone you haven't even met." Carissa made sure her responses were quick. She had to catch him off-guard and get him to retract his ruling.

"You're my daughter." He was softening visibly. His arms hung loosely at his sides, his eyes yielding.

"This is really, really important to me," Carissa said. "Please at least meet him before you make a decision." She bit her lip and crossed her fingers behind her back.

He sighed. "Fine. I'll meet him."

Carrie all but jumped for joy. "Thanks, Dad!" She grinned, and turned to leave.

"On more thing."

Carrie looked back over her shoulder. "Yeah?"

"Does this boy have a name?"

"Oh, right. His name's Jacob. Jacob Black."

--

The phone rang. Before the end of the first ring, Carissa jammed the talk button with her thumb. "Hello?"

"Carrie. Hey."

"Jake! It's you!"

He chuckled on the other end. "You sound much happier to hear from me than before."

"Yeah, well, this time you kept you promise. You called." She cradled the receiver between her cheek and shoulder. "Thanks."

"Yeah." Jake smiled, but became startled by a sound that came through the phone. "Oh no. Carrie, you're not… crying, are you?"

"No. Yeah. A little."

"C'mon, Carrie, don't do this to me."

"No! I'm—I mean, sorry. I'm not falling apart on you, I was just remembering something, and I got all… nostalgic."

"Okay, I'll bite. Remembering what?"

"I was thinking about back when you came to meet my dad for the first time. Oh, and maybe… all things considering… 'I'll bite' isn't the best terminology for you to use."

Jacob laughed. "Point taken." He switched the phone from his right ear to his left. "So. I'm afraid if we stall too much longer, we'll never talk about what you wanted me to call about in the first place."

Carissa took a deep breath. "This is… gonna take a while."

"I've got time. Otherwise I wouldn't have called."

"Right." She took another deep breath, and months of heartache began to spill from Carissa.

--

Author's Notes: Wow! It's been two weeks since the first chapter. I meant for this story to move extremely fast, actually, but I was kind of delayed by matters beyond my control. My mother decided to begin researching our heritage via , which tends to make the computer unavailable for most of the waking hours of the day. While I'm fascinated to learn about my roots, it's slowed me down considerably, and I'm thinking it might be nice to invest in a laptop of my own.

Anyway, enough excuses about my personal affairs! About this chapter. I wanted to provide a liiiittle more back-story concerning how Carrie and Jake met, and the next chapter will finish that up so we can move ahead completely. Anyway, I sandwiched the back-story between present time and place segments so we can at least move forwards a little bit. I brought Embry into the story! He's changed, hasn't he? I hope The Pack shows up more in Breaking Dawn. I think that Quil, Embry, and Sam in particular are very intriguing characters. I couldn't help mentioning all three, and hope to write about them in depth in the future! Ah, right, I'm about to derail again. Back on track! Do you think that Jake's actually imprinted on someone? What a shocking concept! I can hear the audience gasping at the very thought! Well, perhaps he is, and perhaps not. I hope it's at least somewhat of a hook, as I'm hoping that the question of whether or not he's indeed imprinted will keep you reading.

And that is QUITE enough out of me for one chapter. See you next time!


	4. Chapter 3

When the veil was lifted from her face, Edward had Bella's full attention. Looking into his honey-colored eyes, she could no longer sense the world around her. He was all that was left in the world, and the world was silent except for her breathing and his. Every part of Bella was on autopilot; she was unable to stay conscious of her hands, which had been shaking horribly before the ceremony started, or of her voice, which she'd previously been struggling to suppress for fear she'd laugh out of nervousness, or start whimpering. Here was the day, and immediately here the _moments_ she'd be expected to remember for the rest of her life, and yet she vaguely knew that the only thing she'd be able to remember was the unfathomable look on Edward's ever-breathtaking face as he leaned in to give her their first kiss as husband and wife.

Then again, how was remembering only him any different from the way she'd been spending a majority of her life since coming to Forks?  
That was the last coherent thought she could manage before his lips were on hers, and she was drowning in his cool, comforting embrace.

There was a space in time that Bella could put no definite length to when everything was gone. Even Edward disappeared from her, and she drifted into a blank void so dark it seemed to pull at her from all sides.

"Can you hear me, Bella?"

Edward's silken voice urged her back to reality. Ah, so he wasn't gone after all. Wait, of course he wasn't. How could he be? The world came rushing back in full force. She cold feel his cold marble arms wrapped around her, and hear the cheers from the crowd.

Though she couldn't put her finger on what it was, exactly, Bella felt different. Everything around her was brighter, more vivid and detailed. The applause and whistles tickled her ears with their deafening rhythm, the claping almost melodic in its depth and complexity. Suddenly, all of her doubts and worries were gone. There was something exhilirating about how much more beautiful and intense the world was now.

Bella was suddenly unquestionably happy to be Edward Cullen's wife.

--

He met her at the bookstore on Friday afternoon. They'd set the date for 4:00, but both Carissa and Jacob were almost an hour early. When he walked in and spotted her, he couldn't help but chuckle.

He slid up beside her in one fluid movement, humor dancing in his dark eyes. "Looks like you were even more eager to be here than I was."

Carissa's expression brightened in surprise. "Only about five minutes more eager. Actually, I wanted to look around a bit before you got here. Shall I tell you to meet me an hour later next time?"

Jacob smirked. "If you do, I'll see right through it and come even earlier."

She scrutinized him. "Somehow, I don't doubt at all that you would."

He shrugged, suddenly made nervous by the thorough way she was appraising him. "Well, by all means look around if you want. I won't bother you 'til you want me to."

"Nah, I can come here any time I want; I'll have plenty more opportunities to look at books. I'll make the most of you being here, so please bother me now." She clasped her hands behind her back and looked up at him in an almost childishly playful way.

"Fine with me." Jacob smiled.

The two found some over-soft chairs to sit in and angled them towards each other. Carissa found herself staring at the magazines on a table beside them. She felt so at ease when they were laughing and talking, but the loaded silences in between made her feel awkward and nervous. Jacob enjoyed talking with her, and they could hurl quips back and forth with skill. Of that Carissa felt assured. But when all was silent, she was all too aware of Jacob's eyes on her. She felt a heavy degree of self-consciousness about her lifeless ash-colored hair and her plain face, which still bore traces of a scar stretching across her right cheek that she'd gotten when she was nine.

She gulped and looked up. Sure enough, Jacob was gazing at her intently, apparently sharing none of the same reservations. And of course, thought Carissa, he had no reason to. His sun-kissed skin was flawless, and his long, thick black hair framed his face nicely and gave off a healthy-looking shine.

"So," Carissa said, not yet having thought of anything to say, but unable to stand the silence any longer, "how's uh… how's everyone?"

Jacob tilted his head to the side. "You mean the other guys from the reservation? They're good, I guess. They've been asking about you a lot." He said the last sentence with a strange sort of grin that Carissa could not quite read.

She blushed. "About me?"

Jacob nodded. "They wouldn't stop asking why… why I was coming all the way out here to see you." He seemed to be choosing his words carefully.

Carissa shifted in her seat. This was almost just as bad as silence. This was the one topic she did not want to discuss, for fear of discovering what Jacob's feeling for her really were, or more accurately, what they weren't. She had forced herself not to get her hopes up by suppressing thoughts on the matter entirely, but Jacob had a tendency to make it very hard to do so by bringing up the subject.

"What was your answer?" Carissa cursed herself, but her curiosity was just to strong to keep the words from spilling out in a hurry.

"I told them to mind their own business. Not that they can." A moment after saying so, Jacob's eyes widened a little bit and cleared his throat. "So, how's everything on your end?"

"Fine," said Carissa. She could tell he was trying to change the subject, but her curiosity got the better of her again. "What did you mean when you said your friends couldn't mind their own business?"

Jacob shrugged the same way he always did when he was uncomfortable and made an attempt to brush off the question. "Nothing much. We're just really… close. They have a hard time letting me keep my thoughts to myself."

Carissa rolled her eyes. "I know what you mean."

Jacob seemed shocked. "Huh? Oh, uh, right. Really?"

Carissa laughed a little. What was with that reaction? "Yeah. My dad is really nosy. Overprotective, too. He doesn't know what I'm up to right now, or he'd freak."

"Why?"  
Oops. Carissa gulped. "Well y'know, 'cause you're like… male. I mean, even if there's nothing going on at all, or if there is… I mean… well you know what I mean. Regardless, he doesn't take well to me hanging out with guys."

Jacob nodded solemnly. "So that might be a bit of an obstacle."

An obstacle. He wanted to see her again. Carissa hid a deep breath. "It might not have to be. It was a big risk, but I told my dad about you."

"What did you say about me?"

Crap. The very question Carissa was trying to avoid. She could feel the elephant in the room pacing uncomfortably close.

"Nothing specific. Just that I met someone in La Push who… that I, y'know… might want to hang out with… more often. Or something like that." She kept her face down, trying to disguise the fact that it was taking on a bright shade of scarlet.

Jacob leaned in closer. "And?"

Carissa made the mistake of looking up into his endless black eyes. She was instantly mezmerized. "Uh… huh?" she said smartly.

"What did he say?"  
Carissa looked away, trying not to be transparent so she could pull of a half-lie. "He wants to meet you," she said.

--

Author's Notes: Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry everyone—it's another boring chapter. Oh, and it's short, too. I apologize. Summer vacation starts for me on Thursday, so I promise to write longer and more exciting chapters from here on out. As requested, we begin with another scene from the wedding! At least that was good, right? Well, the characters have started to take creative control without consulting me, so in the future this fic will focus a lot more on Bella. For some reason, she's just screaming for attention. In the future, some things that happen to Bella will be inspired by The Little Mermaid, but not in ways that you might imagine. Am I being to cryptic? Haha. Anyway, The Little Mermaid is one of my favorite stories. I love Hans Christian Andersen. Actually, the Mermaid-inspired bit has already begun, or at least it's been hinted at. Now I bet you're _really_ confused. I apologize for being boring and annoying you with half-riddles. Hah. Well, I've rambled far too long at this point… See you all next time!


End file.
